Hitting up your newly-married ex with a text that says anything other than “congratulations” is a scumbag move. Especially after you left him on read five years earlier. But this lady (also married) did just that. Unfortunately for her, this guy knew exactly how to handle the situation.
I don’t know why homegirl decided to finally respond to this guy after five years. Maybe her own marriage has gone to shit. Maybe she’s just so insecure that she needs to know she could still get it. I’m guessing a combination of both.
Either way, the man wasn’t having any of it. And he served her the textual equivalent of blue balls in the most brilliant rejection possible. Good luck on the marriage, my man. It seems like you’re off to a rock solid start.